Love Withdrawl

Do you ever come across a stranger that reminds you of a past love and it makes you feel like you know them? Do you ever approach them and notice that their acquiring your past loves qualities? Or is it your heart playing tricks on you? Early today while I was in my art appreciation evening class, my past love (or at least for a minute I believed him to be so) stood in front of the class to give a presentation. As I watched him hold out a cultural figure that represented his families past history, the sounds from his mouth began to fade out and I began to focus in on how his body moved. The way he stood, smiled, and how he kind of stuttered when he wasn’t aware of what to say next. I noticed the way he dressed wearing a pair of basketball shorts to class with high socks up to his knee caps and tennis shoes. I use to hate that look but seeing it again on an all too familiar face after years that has passed by intoxicated me with the way I use to feel, when I was in love. I noticed how he smelled, and the way his facial features mirrored my former loves appearance. As I began to feel my past memories emerge with my present reminiscence of a love I knew not too long ago, I had to ask myself “was this possible, could I really be witnessing an evolutionary moment”. The emotions and experiences that I once felt I began to feel all over again. I was imported back to a time where I felt overwhelmed with happiness, solitude and lust. I suddenly had an extreme urge to meet the guy that brought this upon me. After his speech was done and when we got back from our ten minute break I moved two seats closer to where he was sitting. I thought to myself “maybe I could just talk to him for a little bit, get to know him in a more personal way”. I observed him for the last hour we had left of lecturing. It was more than just watching a complete stranger write down a couple notes for the next exam; it was about giving my mind and body something that I had not got in a long time…a taste of what I had, and how it felt. But after the minutes passed by I began to realize, this stranger who resembled my love was not my love. I let myself get wrapped up in a feeling that had come and left many years ago. Although this stranger gave me the same feelings I once had in the past, I began to understand just what it was…a memory. I had to move on, not from meeting this guy in art class but I had to move on from what I once had because it was over. I did have a love, a great love but the truth is no one not even a replica of a person who I was so passionately in love with could give me what I once had in the future what I attained in the past. Was it a trick of the heart? I came to the conclusion that the heart does not play tricks on you it only reminds you that the feelings you once had can be felt again giving the right circumstances and it is your job to keep it open so that it can do so.